I walked into the office just now to find this sitting on the computer screen:

And I remembered that moment.  I remember that it was in the middle of the night at the hospital.  Guinevere was, perhaps, 36 hours old.  Being a good Mama and Papa meant that we both got up to hover over our dear, new little Guinevere as we changed her diaper.  Above the changing table there was a heat lamp and Guinevere loved to lay under it, basking in the heat on her naked skin, warming her clothes.  She would stare at the light (it was dim) so we would hover under it, flitting about like moths in the darkness, keeping our baby close to her comfort.

Then I looked at my Darling One, my Bradley, and saw what a difference two kids, two houses and a million life events has done to him.  Then I saw what it has done to me.  It’s not all bad.  We are older, for sure.  But, oh my goodness, I didn’t FEEL like a baby then…  So why did I look like one?  I liked my life then, who am I kidding, I LOVED MY LIFE THEN.  It was like everything I had ever wanted was finally coming together.  When anyone asked what I ever wanted to be in my life, inwardly I always answered wife, mother.  Outwardly I said teacher, geologist.  Hope is evident on my face.  As is, quite honestly, exhaustion.  We were coming to the end of a huge remodel, I was just finishing school, we were both working, then along came this little bit of wonder, an arrow in the direction I always wanted to travel in.

In that room, under that lamp, flitting like moths, we finally got to see who were were.  WHO we are.  And honestly, its a defining moment for me.  Granted, times have changed.  Our friends have changed.  WE have changed tremendously.  But at our hearts, we are still those hopeful people under that lamp with our eyes pointed inward at those beautiful babies and one another.  I love this life.  I still can’t believe we have been parents for over nine years though.  I still can’t believe that little tiny girl has grown into this long-legged grasshopper of a daughter.  I’m amazed at how much fun she is, how much I like her.  And I’m grateful for every moment I get to orbit that light with her, with all of them.

“Time truly flies, and if you’re lucky, you can fly right along with it.”

-Tyler Knott Gregson


COMMENTS / ONE COMMENT

I love this.
Do I say this too often?
Write on, Friend!!

(and i totally mean write not right)

hannah added these pithy words on Nov 15 12 at 7:16 pm
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Baby

FRESH /POSTS

Gigi Said

  • Topless Tapas 2012-11-03 18:44:52-

    Tami was leaving to go out with her friend and the kids begged to go with her. I said, "you don't want to go with mom, she is going to the Tapas bar and we are going to stay here and play games."

    Gigi stiffened, "That's weird", she said as she blushed. I processed fast and realized the problem. "TAPAS bar. It means 'small plate', not TOPLESS bar!"

Jude Said

  • Nicknames 2013-01-04 21:30:33-

    The checker at the store asked our always conversational little boy what his name was. He replied "Jude" then added "but sometimes they call me pumpkin brown". LOL.

    And they are right. We call him that after the folksong that we sing sometimes.

A long time ago…