And so it begins. Today our daughter joins the giant education machine where she will be assessed, categorized and statisticized into ready-made numbers for educators and politicians to use in a variety of ways. I not thrilled with the test taking. I’m not thrilled with the standardized test. I despise the stress and anxiety it causes the kids and the teachers. It is an incredibly stressful time for me… And I am 39. Not 9.

So what to do? In my class I make it a celebration. I request special foods like gogurts, string cheese and fresh fruit from the families for special snacks! We chew gum during the test! We take extra breaks! It’s fun! Never mind that pesky little booklet that you need to write in for two hours… Because when we are done there will be ICE CREAM! And I’m not even kidding.
I figure the least I can do for my own kid is give her a fancy schmancy lunch filled with jokes and sillies. She’s got brain food (top ramen), nutra nuggs (chik’ nuggets), smart pills (gummies), intelligence potion (juice), a banana which I called the MSP Masher…. Whatever that is.
She will be amazing. No matter what.


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The Big Test


Gigi Said

  • Topless Tapas 2012-11-03 18:44:52-

    Tami was leaving to go out with her friend and the kids begged to go with her. I said, "you don't want to go with mom, she is going to the Tapas bar and we are going to stay here and play games."

    Gigi stiffened, "That's weird", she said as she blushed. I processed fast and realized the problem. "TAPAS bar. It means 'small plate', not TOPLESS bar!"

Jude Said

  • Nicknames 2013-01-04 21:30:33-

    The checker at the store asked our always conversational little boy what his name was. He replied "Jude" then added "but sometimes they call me pumpkin brown". LOL.

    And they are right. We call him that after the folksong that we sing sometimes.

A long time ago…