Bradley and I became parents ten years ago this coming Sunday. Last night, our resident denarian ushered her single digit status out of her life with a circus/candy/rainbow sleepover party. It was fabulous and I saw her looking like a teenager for the first time ever.
It was strange. I had a moment where I looked at her and saw a little woman. I got momentarily teary, then I heard them start to play truth or dare and shush one another whenever Bradley or I walked near and I remembered. I remembered that exact feeling, like everything important in the world that matters even a smidgen is all right here in this room with these people and there’s no way anyone else could be having a better, more meaningful, more intimate time. Because when you’re ten, sleepovers are epic and laughing with friends means everything.
In that moment, I realized I can let the line slacken. I can trust her. I realized she’s an amazing person who is incredibly capable and is ready to start taking baby steps into the world. Step one happened on Friday: she wanted private time with her girlfriends after 11:00. No brother, no mom, no dad. Just girls ages 7-10. I was glad to leave. I believe in honoring their private time together and am so happy she has such a lovely group of friends to surround herself with. I’m happy she feels confident with these girls. While I’ll never say I’m ready to let her go or let her grow up, tonight was the first time I truly, at last, felt ok with it.