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I Hate PCOS
So, I have PCOS. Sexy, huh? That’s short for Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which in essence, means that I have many cysts on my ovaries which makes it hard for eggs to escape and babies to be made. You would think that would be it. You would think that now that I have my babies I wouldn’t care about my PCOS anymore but believe it or not, I still have to battle my ’syndrome’! Why? because a nice little side effect of having PCOS is something called insulin resistance. That basically means that instead of creating glucose from sugars (fructose or otherwise) for energy, my body does a better than average job of storing those sugars away as fat instead of processing it and using it as an energy source. Then, because I don’t get that energy boost from the glucose, I want to eat more and the cycle continues. In addition, my body hangs onto the fat cells like gold. So I get really fat really really easy, and stay that way because losing the weight is quite challenging. PCOS be damned!
When I hit puberty is when my PCOS started rearing its ugly head. My diet didn’t change and I was a very active kid, but I started gaining weight. My ninth grade yearbook picture looks like it should be on the staff page, weight makes you look older. My family thought I was sneaking food at my friends and elsewhere, but I honestly don’t remember eating all that differently than my friends. My weight gain seemed unexplainable. There were other symptoms too, let’s just say I was far from ‘regular’, but I didn’t mind that one bit. I met with doctors and took blood tests, but we couldn’t connect any dots to determine what was going on with me. It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that my sister in law sent me an article that matched me to a T: Overweight? Check. Irregular? Check. Tired? Check. Everything in the article sounded like me. I approached my doctor and she said that it certainly was a possibility. I decided that for sure, I had PCOS.
A few years ago my doctor suggested I lose about 5% of my body weight in an attempt to boost my fertility chances. We had been trying for baby #2 for a few years with no luck – even the meds I used to get pregnant with Gigi didn’t work. I was motivated to lose weight by the chance of a baby, and it worked. After losing about 50 pounds (way more than the 5% for you mathematicians) I ended up pregnant with Jude. I also ended up being able to run and play and hike – I felt so good, we were so active! With the pregnancy, I said goodbye to the diet, assuming that I would hop back on the bandwagon once the baby was born. That did not happen. In fact, quite the opposite happened and I ended up gaining some weight back – and it piled on really really fast. I have spent the last year and a half or so trying to be motivated enough to start it up again. Then my mom started the battle and lost 40 pounds and I got the motivation I needed, PCOS be damned!
Last week I started the diet again, in an attempt to get healthy (my focus is always health, thinness is an attractive side effect). I started eating a ton of vegetables, riding my bike nightly, and am staying away from processed sugars and white stuff like rice, potatoes, and food in the staff room on Fat Wednesdays (the day when we bring treats at my school). I lost four pounds and hollered it from the rooftops! “I am losing weight! I lost four pounds! This is it! I am going to do it this time!” Week two arrived, and using the same strategies, I lost about 1/2 a pound. While that is nothing to sneeze at, a loss is a loss, it does not help my momentum any. Of course I want to lose 1-2 whole pounds a week but with my ’syndrome’ that is difficult. So here I am now, going into week three with determination. A pound please, that’s all I ask. I can do it. Wish me strength and luck, please. PCOS be damned!
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Getting Older
Back when I was a teenager my mom would marvel that at 11:00 at night I could grab a Pepsi, drink it, then go to bed soon thereafter without any problem. I would crash, just like any other night. I just thought that caffeine didn’t affect me that way. A few years ago when we started the Big Diet I started drinking soda again. I would notice that now and then I would have a tough time falling asleep, even though just a few hours ago I was dog tired. I finally made the connection: I was drinking a diet coke with dinner.
The same thing goes for alcohol. When I was a newly minted 21 year old I was sent to the liquor store to buy margarita makings. Being that I never drank before I was 21, I had NO idea of how much liquor it takes to get 10 or so people margarita’d. I bought two of the big big jugs of tequila plus the spiked mixer. Needless to say we had more than enough and I went home with a lot of extra tequila that night. That summer I spent many many nights draining the bottles with no ill effects. I was hangover free every morning and was even able to head off to work on the strawberry farm at 4:30 in the morning feeling just fine! In fact, I never had a hangover once while in my twenties and really couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. I took a long vacation from drinking anything alcoholic while we were trying to conceive our kids. It took a total of eight years to conceive, carry and nurse the babies, and when the day finally came that I was not the life or food source for our kids I decided to have a drink. I woke up the next morning feeling tired. Hmmm… The next time I drank, two vodka cokes was all it took to make me feel the effects for not one, not two, but three days!
I assumed that with time I would feel the affects of getting older and aging, but every once in a while it catches me off guard. It seems like 36 is not so far from 26, but my body’s chemistry has changed enough that I avoid both alcohol and caffeine now, which really, is a lot healthier of a choice. Initially I thought I’d avoid drinking when my kids were little just because I didn’t want them to think that Mommy is a lush and because drinking and late nights go hand in hand, while small children wake up with the chickens for some reason. Now I don’t like to drink because I feel like warm death the next day and, not to sound like an old lady or anything, but it wreaks havoc on my acid reflux issues. Who woulda thought?
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So Frustrating!
Tonight was bath night. I ignored the massive amount of splashing happening in the bathtub to claim a little moment for myself – to read the monitor in Entertainment Weekly, you know, which celebrity married who, which ones had a kid etc. when I hear Jude start calling, “Dow? Dow? (Translated: towel).” And I grudgingly rolled off the bed to go assist the little prince out of the tub and into his jams.
Jude has a little ceremony while I diaper and dress him: he kicks the living hell out of my stomach and chest. I tell him, “That hurts Mommy, Jude.” He laughs and thinks it is so funny, even when I start to cry. Tonight my approach was to tickle him into complacency, and when that didn’t work, I tried speaking in soothing tones, telling him about the day he was born, how we felt when he was brought to us the first time, how we all cried, and kissed him and held him tight. I told him all about how I carried him inside of me for nine months and how small he was – just 8 pounds then as compared to his hearty 36 pounds today, just a fourth of what he weighs now! I think that perhaps I was trying to keep myself calm as Jude continued to laugh and pummel me with his feet. I cried again, as I left the room in defeat, job done, Boy dressed, so frustrated that I wanted to scream.
Moments later Bradley stormed from the room, frustrated because Jude managed to press enough buttons on the computer to lock it down and freeze it up. He had to turn it off and reboot it, not a big deal, but still, so annoying! We both stormed around the kitchen, cleaning out the dishwasher, needing some kind of activity that would release the tension we were feeling on something besides Jude. Lucky that some of our glasses are plastic…
Then I got on my laptop and started thinking about how I needed to post something. I started looking through my photos for inspiration, and found this little cheeseball. Yeah, he is crazy and SO FRUSTRATING at times, but he is also so cute, so funny, and such a little ham. You just have to laugh sometimes and realize that this is temporary and someday we’ll be wishing for our little troublemaker back again… I think.
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Toothbrush Tip #1
So I decided it was time to put my toothbrush out to pasture and came up with the terrific idea of converting the toothbrush into a ’scrub brush’ for cleaning the rails in the window frames of our windows. I scrubbed out bug parts and muck and unidentifiable grime with it… it works great! I highly recommend it!
This morning I was reminded of my cleverness by the peculiarly GRITTY feeling my toothbrush had in my mouth. Somehow, Old faithful, the retired toothbrush trotted its way back into the cup by my sink. Out of habit I grabbed the green toothbrush and away I went.
No amount of gargling can now take away the memory of this new-found texture. I can only hope that with time, and a new toothbrush, I can put this all behind me.
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Making a Snowman
You can’t go to a snowy place without trying to build a snowman. When we arrived in snowy Leavenworth, the snow icy and crusty. That, however, did not deter our girl from doing her best to roll out the best snowman she could make.
She pushed along an icy chunk for quite some time in an attempt to make it grow. It didn’t.
Eventually she resorted to just packing snow and ice chunks into a heap.
With patience, perseverance, and a lot of effort, Gigi put together a very cute, very real, authentic Leavenworth snowman! She was quite happy with her final product.
… Well, in the end, she was happy to call it a snow elephant, anyhow!
Fresh Comments
9th Jan 10
My brother is 7 years younger than me and always wanted in my room. One day when I was reading ...
19th Nov 09
where can i get a vest like jude's to add to my collection?
15th Nov 09
VERY exciting to see this update. WOW! Can't wait to see it!
13th Oct 09
She's lucky to have such an insightful mama!
11th Oct 09
I am astounded at how quickly this is coming together!! Wahoo for a roof over your head!