Lately when I start to have a problem- like, I want to eat a bunch, eat wrong foods, skip working out- instead of giving the universal excuse of being tired, I’m trying to go a little deeper and see what is actually at the root of the craving.
This weekend was tough. Unfortunately, we have a somewhat strained relationship with some of our family members and when our kids head out for a weekend away with them it causes me a bit of anxiety. When I have anxiety I look to distract myself. Apparently my main form of distraction is food. Add to that the return of PMS (really?! So soon?!) and lets just say it was a weekend to fight through.
I wanted to eat. So when I looked deeper, I realized I wanted to eat my anxiety away. I wanted to not be in control. I wanted to not think about every little thing that went into my mouth. I wanted to just sit back, relax, and wash all worry and over-thinking from my brain. While on a diet, that is almost impossible as you’re adding up each calorie and fat gram before it even passes over your teeth… On Friday I did that with garbage food- chips & candy.
Today I was getting frantic on the way home as I realized it was happening again- I could feel it coming. I knew when I got home the chips and salsa (which I don’t even like that much) would call out to me even though I knew they would make me sick. So I had Bradley preemptively stop and spend a whole bunch of money on watermelon, strawberries, grapes, mango, cantaloupe, pineapple and any other fruit that looked or sounded even near to yummy. I came home and prepped everything, stacked it on a plate and went to town. It was fabulous. My stomach was full and I got to nosh and nom to my heart’s content, but I didn’t feel sick and I didn’t feel guilty. Phew!
*
