Today I was all like, “Meh. Do I haaaave to run?”
All day yesterday I looked at today’s run like a death march. I was just not looking forward to it. At all. I told Bradley that running was imminent tonight, though, and he wrote around 3:00 checking to make sure we were still on to run. I enthusiastically answered in the affirmative. Then the kicker, “Gigi wants to run at the track. Wanna go to the track?”
Bleh.
No.
I don’t.
But to him I say yes because of all the family benefit and blah blah blah. But I wasn’t feeling it. At all. Then the anxiety- wondering who would be there? What would be happening? Would I again be the lone fat girl running around and around the track to the amusement of others (not really, again it’s all in my head, people are nice).
I wasn’t upset. I was resigned. What I really REALLY wanted was to plug in my headphones and just run and get it over with by circling my neighborhood.
I head upstairs to kick off my shoes and put on my running clothes and just happen to check my email. There is an email about a comment. On my blog. FROM A STRANGER! SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW IS READING MY BLOG! HOW COOL IS THAT?!!!*
Not only that, but this lovely woman, Terry, sent me just the absolute perfect link.
Go read it. I’ll wait.
…
I know, right?!
I sat down on the stool I keep in my bathroom so I can reach the high stuff (I’m 5’9″, I find it ironic that I need a stool) and tears welled in my eyes, they slid down my cheeks and Bradley wondered why I was bawling. He read it, put a hand on my shoulder and said, “I’ll bet it felt pretty good to read that, huh?”
Know what? It did. I felt validated.
***
We pulled into the parking lot of the high school and it was like my worst dream come true. Soccer practice- two teams scrimmaging on one field with the stands filled with bored parents absently watching their daughters. They were about to watch me. I walked on the track and didn’t really care what they thought of me- a good feeling.
We didn’t end up staying. Circumstances brought us home prematurely where I ended up getting my way after all that and running 3.2 miles around my block. But I was incredibly grateful to this stranger for setting me straight and reminding me that I’m an athlete worth the space on the track. That people aren’t looking at me to mock- they celebrate my laps along with me. They know what I’m doing. They get it, they understand. And they are proud of me too.
Thank you, Terry, not only for taking the time to say hello and offer encouragement, but also for inspiring me on a really tough day. I really needed that. I feel more motivated and determined already.