Redeye

I’ve been pushing myself pretty hard for almost a year now. In that time I have been so paranoid about losing my momentum that at the most, I have allowed myself to take a 4-5 day break from working out. I am presently on day four with no running, no weights. I’m not gaining weight- I’m actually slowly losing weight- so I know it’s ok. I’m just saying it here so I can be ok owning the fact that I am really tired, really being affected by the dark season, so I’m listening to my body and taking a short break from working out. I know I said a few days ago that I have to just keep going no matter what, but I’m not. I’m letting myself have a down weekend with lots of couching, snuggle time, kid time and there may even be a Christmas tree involved…
I made this to make myself feel better, like see? I’m ok! Everything is going great!

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I had forgotten I asked Bradley to take a series of before pictures back in January. We were cleaning out our photo library when I spotted this. Funny thing is, I felt pretty slim and sassy in this picture- I had already lost 68 pounds at this point! What a difference a year makes. It is SO nice to have the technology to give myself these comparisons. The before was on 1/28/13 and the during/after is from Friday of this week. *
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This morning I was working with nail polish remover. I set the bottle down a little hard, I guess, because a drop of the remover flew up out of the bottle and made the turn right towards my face. I actually watched the droplet enter my eye, felt it pretty intensely when it got in there too. I have always wondered about those eye baths from chemistry class- you remember, the corner with a weird drain in the floor and a eye washing fountain posted, or a giant hose and shower head on a big spring… You were instructed to hold the eye open and bathe the area for 10 minutes. I always thought that water hurt my eyes, so that task might be uncomfortable EVEN in the face of chemicals burning the eyes, especially for ten minutes! Turns out the water feels pretty amazing when one has a chemical in the eye. Holy cow, it was like Christmas for my eye once that water hit. Sweet sweet relief. I can’t imagine getting something worse in there! I didn’t wash it for ten minutes though… Getting actual water into the eye when you’re looking down is hard, thanks to gravity- but I rinsed it till it didn’t burn and now you can call me Red-eye.
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And for those of you who are gasping and clutching at your pearls because I posted pictures of myself on the internet in my skivvies, here are my retorts-
1. this is a weightloss blog. If I were perfectly fit, no one would give a second glance. My imperfections/ non standard beauty is what makes me obscene, not my underwear.
2. I am supposed to compare and look at my body here to note progress.
3. If I were wearing a bikini instead of underwear, no one would feel uncomfortable.
4. Who cares? You know you’re fascinated anyways. It’s always interesting to see what people look like.

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