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Him
11.01.13 | Permalink | | Comments Off on HimMy mortal coil is intertwined so closely with this man. I love him boundlessly. Every night before we go to sleep I remind him that he is my best friend, I tell him I love him and repeat, again, that everything good in my life comes from being with him. It just needs to be said, from time to time, that I couldn’t have made a better choice for a life partner. It’s good to wear these shoes.
“So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down,
I’ll carry you home,
Tonight.”
~Fun.
…Tonight, forever and always.
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This Was Halloween
10.31.13 | Permalink | | Comments Off on This Was Halloween
My Halloween started out at school with glasses day- we decided to support a student’s new glasses by all wearing them. It was a fun way to not celebrate Halloween at school.
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My parents came over that evening to hand out trick or treats while we met up with a really fun neighborhood group who we trick or treated with. It was so different from last year. Last year we headed out, and all over the neighborhood we saw people who were running from one house to the next in large groups- kids Gigi knew. We sort of joined in, but Halloween groups are funny. People want to go out and not shrink or grow, so we never quite made it into the inner sanctum. In fact, we’ve never been in an inner sanctum. But this year people texted Bradley and asked to come along with us and before we knew it we were five families strong, hitting the streets for tricks and treats! It was great fun!
The sweetest thing to happen that night was Gigi and Katie Jane fell in love. Katie Jane is Jude’s best friend’s little sister. She is two years full of sweetness and yearning for a big sister just like our Guinevere Rose. KJ & GG traipsed hand in hand through the neighborhood, and whenever Gigi strayed away from Katie Jane I would hear her parents consoling her that Gigi would be right back. Sure enough, Gigi would return to take KJ by the hand as her little legs would carry her down the next block. Tears were had as we separated, at last, come 8:30 and the end of the evening. I see many play dates in our future.
My parents spent the night at our house on Halloween. It felt so official and grown up to host my parents for a sleepover. Finally a grown up at 40! Ha!
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Pumpkin Carvers
10.30.13 | Permalink | | Comments Off on Pumpkin Carvers
Both of the kids ran their final cross country run yesterday for Northshore. The first five placers each get a pumpkin but we knew the turnout would be big and our chances of actually winning were slim, so Big Daddy promised Boy and Girl that any child who did not win a pumpkin would get one from the store. Jude won his first ribbon and didn’t walk for the whole run while Gigi finished strong, passing seven other girls in the final leg of the race, but neither scored a pumpkin! So, despite having grown pumpkins and purchased them at the farm, today Bradley found himself running to the ends of the earth to find last minute pumpkins. It was much harder than you might imagine. He is a man of his word, however, so this year we have five pumpkins.
Have a Happy Halloween!
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40-eve
10.28.13 | Permalink | | Comments Off on 40-eveI try not to wax on and on here at Littlejohnesque. The purpose here is to scrapbook virtually what I fail to do physically. I do most of my think-through, blather on and on about my feelings writing over at my Shazam blog… But today on the eve of turning 40, it seems appropriate to write all about my thoughts and feelings here.
40
My friend, Matt, came up to me today and so kindly inquired about my birthday plans. I think I said something to the effect of, “I’m not talking about it.” He is ever the gentleman, though, and reminded me that it’s only a number, that my life reflects my good choices… Not necessarily in those words, but he’s so right.
When I look at my life, I’m in disbelief over the jackpot I’ve spun. My husband is the boy I would have manufactured myself as a teenager: tall, kind, artist/skater type with a penchant for pithy words, romance and chubby girls. The singer songwriter thing was so far out of reach that I never imagined it possible I would score so richly. My kids are gorgeous, brilliant and the kind of people you wish you had played with as a kid (on this website you cannot argue that fact). I have the job I’ve wanted since Becky and I spun on the bars in 2nd grade and decided to be teachers, I have more house than I think I deserve, living parents who are still married, in love and who still love and cherish me… Life is so good. So sweet. So pure. I ache with appreciation and gratitude for my life. I marvel at how much better it feels than I even dared to imagine. I am loved completely, immutably, unconditionally, fearlessly, and I get to love with abandon in return – in my marriage, family and I even get to share love with my students. Life has been so generous to me.
It’s good I feel that way.
There’s a dark and greedy side of me too, though. That side has the ability to eat up all of that good with worries about a shortened life,a miserable, sickly end, a premature end. I can’t stand the thought of life happening after I die and I’m unable to see it. I want to hold the hands of my kids as they grow old. I can’t get enough of them, of this world, of this life. There’s just so much to see and do and it goes so friggin’ fast!
That worry has also caused me to freak out at each impending birthday. And milestones like a 40th are just the worst. Obviously there are a lot of positives that come with it too- that worry has driven me to lose a bunch of weight and get really healthy. And that worry has made me be able to show myself the marvels of my life- that’s why I can list them- so I don’t get all anxious and depressed about my sad life when, really, put into perspective, is pretty awesome 90% of the time. Put that list in front of yourself and try to feel bad. It’s really hard.
Anyhow, tonight as I got into the car I said to myself that, “I just spent my last day as a teacher in her thirties. Tomorrow I turn 40.” I really do mark moments like that all the time. As I pulled out of the parking lot I burst into tears. I’m ridiculously sentimental and I cried at the sadness of officially kissing my youth goodbye, at the marker of the moment- a last of something… I was overwhelmed with grief, so I started using my happiness strategy. I listed my darling husband, first, followed by my little blondies. Then my job, my parents, the people who love and like me, and on and on until I felt ridiculous for crying at 40 in the first place.
Matt was right. My age is just a number; it means next to nothing. I’m stepping into 40 stronger, healthier and happier than I’ve ever been in my life. Life is good.
Goodbye 39.
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I decided to use only photos from my last official day as a 39 year old for this post. Eyes closed selfie. Who knew? But wasn’t our run just gorgeous today?! We had to stop and snap one!
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Sneak Peek
10.28.13 | Permalink | | Comments Off on Sneak PeekShhhhh…
Ok, so, we went to a Halloween party on Saturday night and we just had to dress up. We got to see our gorgeous kids all dressed in their Halloween finery. They are so stinking cute and I can’t resist but put this up here right now!
I can’t believe those are my kids. I love them in that ‘I want a puppy’ kind of way, if you know what I mean. I try not to wax too poetic about the beauty of my kids, but sometimes it’s just too much. Seriously.
Stunning.
Then there’s us. Ha ha!
LSP & BMO
We felt all clever until no one knew who we were.
